Emma felt she had no choice but to keep her girlfriend and their child a secret from a conservative Catholic school leadership.
Under current laws, the religion teacher could legally be fired for her relationship and said she was told as much by the school principal and her union.
About six years into her teaching career, her divorce and subsequent girlfriend were all kept under wraps until she went to apply for carer’s leave when her new partner was pregnant.
Emma – who only wanted to use her first name to protect her family’s privacy – said the school principal told her taking any parental leave could expose her sexuality.
She took two weeks without pay so there was no paper trail.
“It was a state secret that I had a child,” she told AAP.
The Archdiocese of Sydney did not respond to several requests for comment.
Emma decided the fear of being fired was insurmountable before resigning in 2022.
“Obviously, it was a big challenge to me personally and professionally once I realised I was gay,” she said.
“I essentially could be fired at any time just based on this reason … it put a lot of pressure on me.
“What happens with your mortgage? What happens with your family?”
Equality Australia, which fights discrimination against people in the LGBTQI community, knows of Emma’s case and said she should never have been put in the position of losing her job because of her private life.
Emma said she wanted to tell her story in the hope of sparking change.
The federal government has parked debate on religious freedoms, including a promise to better protect LGBTQI students and staff at faith-based schools.
Religious groups and the opposition have withheld support for Labor’s draft laws, saying they did not go far enough to protect people of faith.
The draft laws have not been made public and have only been seen by a select group of stakeholders.
Writing to the government and opposition, the Australian Catholic Bishops Conference proposed several amendments.
Religious schools ought to maintain the right to exclude students who did not preserve their ethos and preference staff who acted in accordance with their teachings and beliefs, the group said.
Any such laws must ensure religious educational institutions were able to appropriately manage student conduct and behaviour, they said.
Emma worried this sent the wrong message to children.
She said that homophobia was rife at the school she left, with derogatory comments from students and staffed laughed off, causing further hurt and harm.
Anna Brown, from Equality Australia, said schools should not be allowed to encroach on the personal lives of their staff when it had no bearing on what happened in classrooms.
“Every day we delay these reforms there will be more teachers like Emma who are denied promotions or forced out of their jobs,” she said.
“More students will be robbed of their chance to become a school prefect or told they would be happier elsewhere.”
Religious schools should be able to preference people of their own faith when selecting staff but their approach must be reasonable, proportionate and necessary to build a community of faith, Ms Brown said.
The practice must not breach sexual discrimination laws, harm children or punish teachers, she said.
Emma, a practising Catholic who sends two children from her previous marriage to a faith-based school, said religious institutions did not always practice what they preached.
“They turn a blind eye to some sins and focus on others – that’s not religious freedom, that’s discrimination,” she said.
Emma was overlooked for promotion to a role she had been acting in for a year, which she blamed on discrimination over her “questionable lifestyle”.
She received no feedback about the rejection and the person who got the job was her subordinate.
Emma recalled an openly gay employee being disparaged by their peers when another job opportunity arose.
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